When you adopt, you can request an assessment of adoption support, and may be entitled to access ongoing support. Each adoption agency will offer varying support (within a broad framework) so you will need to look at what your agency offers. You might also be eligible for financial support in the form of adoption allowances, if your child meets certain criteria.
The agency that places the child is responsible for supporting you as an adoptive family for the first three years you are together. After that the local authority you live in will be responsible for supporting you. It is advisable to have an adoption support plan in place right from the start – it’s something that you should be discussing after your matching panel.
Keep all doors open – even if you don’t feel you need support at this stage.
Before applying for an adoption order you will legally be your child’s foster carer. At this stage you should enquire as to whether there is a fostering allowance available for the care of your child. You will be entitled to statutory adoption leave and pay, and should discuss this with your employer. If you are self-employed there is no entitlement to any statutory pay.
More information about adoption support in each Scottish local authority can be found here.
Some children and young people have been exposed to stressful or traumatic events at an early age. These are known as Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs.
ACEs range from experiences that directly harm a child, such as physical, verbal or sexual abuse, and physical or emotional neglect, to those that affect the environments in which children grow up, such as parental separation, domestic violence, mental illness, alcohol abuse, drug use or imprisonment. The experiences harm children’s developing brains and change how they respond to stress. Sometimes their immune systems are so profoundly damaged that the effects show up decades later.
Strategies and techniques which can lessen the impact of ACEs on an adopted child include therapy, including therapeutic parenting, and providing a stable, loving environment for the child to grow up in.
When caregivers respond to the needs of a child, they form secure attachments. Every child needs to feel loved and secure to develop normally. Children who don’t form secure attachments when they are little are more likely to have development gaps and delays and to struggle more with relationships and behaviour.
Your child’s birth family is important and helping them to talk openly about them is recommended. Following an adoption, there may be some level of continuing contact with members of the birth family. This will not always be easy for all involved, and it’s important that your adopted child is properly supported at all times.
There are a number of organisations that can support your family:
Siblings Reunited (STAR) supports positive contact arrangement in a child-friendly environment, enabling brothers and sisters separated by the care system to enjoy time together.
Stand up for Siblings can provide advice and guidance about the needs of siblings.
Birthlink can help adult adoptees contact their birth families.
Working with Schools
Children who have suffered trauma in early years may view adults with suspicion, fear or mistrust. School contains many adults in position of power over children and lots of other children – who may be seen as competitors for food and attention. They are very busy places, a great deal to look at, many changes of activity throughout the day, and lots of different people. all this is very demanding for a hyper vigilant child who has learned that the way to keep safe is to keep tabs on everything.
It is important to work with teachers to support your child at school. If a teacher knows your child is adopted, then they will better understand why things might be disturbing or difficult for your child. Teachers many also not be fully informed about adoption today, so working with them to understand better is important.
Let’s Learn Together is a useful publication from Adoption UK Scotland as a starting point, as are the Adoption UK Scotland factsheets and the regular training courses on working with schools.
Research about how children felt in school and what they experienced can be found in Bridging the Gap, Giving Adopted Children an Equal Chance in School 2018 (Adoption UK) can give you an insight into what school can feel like to an adopted child.
Home Education
Home Education, or a mixture of school and home education (flexi schooling) might be the best option for your child. For further information about home education visit the School House Home Education Association.
Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is a condition that can occur when a fetus is exposed to alcohol prenatally. It can happen at any point of pregnancy and often before the pregnancy is known.
FASD affects 3-5% of the general population and up to 33% of the care experienced population. It is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition that can affect any and all areas of child development.
FASD Hub Scotland are leaders in the provision of support and information to families affected by FASD to help individuals and families achieve positive outcomes and providing a supportive community for anyone impacted by prenatal alcohol exposure, and the professionals working with them.
Learn more about FASD by downloading the What Is FASD? factsheet from FASD Hub Scotland, or by visiting their website.
Traumatised children need “therapeutic re-parenting” which is a consistent and highly nurturing, designed to repair the broken bonds of early attachment and develop new, loving attachments between you and your child. Some points to remember: The early experiences in your child’s life can’t be erased, but further damage can be prevented by practising therapeutic re- parenting. Nobody “gets it right” 100% of the time. There will be times you feel you could have done better, and occasions that you feel that you failed them completely. This is normal. As long as you are genuinely doing the best you can, most of the time, your child will benefit enormously. It can be good to talk to other adopters.
Developmental trauma – when a baby is not cared for properly and its needs are unmet, it will form insecure or disorganised attachments. In these situations, a baby will not develop the ability to regulate stress and their brain development will be compromise.
Emotional trauma – when a child is at a stage when they are able to process their feeling and they are exposed to terrifying events. In this case the overwhelming fear of horror leads to extreme stress and the body is flooded with massive amounts of stress hormones, causing major areas of the brain to shut down.
Neglect – when a child may have experienced a lack of food, adequate clothing, sleep, routine, personal hygiene intellectual stimulation, medical attention, protection and emotional response.
Abuse – emotional, physical or sexual abuse.
