adoptive families



Some of the most common difficulties experienced by Children:



No adoptive child, no matter their background, will come to you without issues. However, knowing what to expect, where to go for help and information and that you can work on whatever issues they come with is a good starting place.


COMMON DIFFICULTIES BELOW

Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder (FASD)



FASD describes a range of physical, emotional and developmental deficits or delays that may affect a person when they were exposed to alcohol during pregnancy. FASD is a hidden life long condition that can affect physical health, social skills, communication skills, memory and behaviour. There is no cure but with the right support an individual with FASD can achieve in life. Further information can be found at FASD Hub Scotland.



Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)



ACES are stressful or traumatic events that children and young people are exposed to at an early age. The experiences harm children’s developing brains and change how they respond to stress, sometimes damaging their immune systems profoundly. Further information can be found at Scottish Government website



Attachment
Disorders



When care givers respond to the needs of a child, they form secure attachments. Every child needs to feel loved and secure to develop normally. Children who don’t from secure attachments when they are little are more likely to have development gaps and delays and to struggle more with relationships and behaviour.



Trauma, Neglect and Abuse



Developmental trauma - when a baby is not cared for properly and its needs are unmet, it will form insecure or disorganised attachments. In these situations, a baby will not develop the ability to regulate stress and their brain development will be compromise.


Emotional trauma - when a child is at a stage when they are able to process their feeling and they are exposed to terrifying events. In this case the overwhelming fear of horror leads to extreme stress and the body is flooded with massive amounts of stress hormones, causing major areas of the brain to shut down.


Neglect – when a child may have experienced a lack of food, adequate clothing, sleep, routine, personal hygiene intellectual stimulation, medical attention, protection and emotional response.


Abuse – emotional, physical or sexual abuse.




THERAPEUTIC PARENTING



Traumatised children need “therapeutic re-parenting" which is a consistent and highly nurturing, designed to repair the broken bonds of early attachment and develop new, loving attachments between you and your child. Some points to remember: The early experiences in your child’s life can’t be erased, but further damage can be prevented by practising therapeutic re- parenting. Nobody “gets it right” 100% of the time. There will be times you feel you could have done better, and occasions that you feel that you failed them completely. This is normal. As long as you are genuinely doing the best you can, most of the time, your child will benefit enormously. It can be good to talk to other adopters.



ADOPTION SUPPORT



When you adopt you will be entitled to formal support from your local authority in Scotland. Each adoption agency will offer varying different support (within a broad framework) so you will need to look at what your agency offers. There will be financial support in the form of adoption allowances given for a variety of reasons, however these need to be investigated locally to see if your situation is eligible. The agency that places the child is responsible for supporting you as an adoptive family for the first 3 years you are together, after that it is the local authority you live in that will be responsible for supporting you. You should have an adoption support plan in place right from the start - it's something that you should be discussing after your matching panel.


Keep all doors open - even if you don't feel you need support at this stage.


Before applying for an adoption order you will legally be your child's foster carer, at this stage you should enquire as to whether there is a fostering allowance available for the care of your child. You will be entitled to statutory adoption leave and pay, talk to your employer about what they offer. If you are self-employed there is not entitlement to any statutory pay. More information about adoption support in each local authority can be found here



YOU, YOUR CHILD AND
THEIR BIRTH FAMILY



Your child's birth family is important and helping them to talk openly about them is recommended. There may be some level of continuing contact with members of the birth family, whatever the practical arrangements are it is the approach you bring that is important. This will not always be easy for all involved. There are a number of organisations that can support your family. Birthlink - for adults affected by adoption, Siblings Reunited (STAR) support positive contact arrangement in a child-friendly environment , Stand up for Siblings - for more information about the needs of siblings in care.



Education



Working with Schools

Children who have suffered trauma in early years may view adults with suspicion, fear or mistrust. School contains many adults in position of power over children and lots of other children - who may be seen as competitors for food and attention. They are very busy places, a great deal to look at, many changes of activity throughout the day, and lots of different people. all this is very demanding for a hyper vigilant child who has learned that the way to keep safe is to keep tabs on everything.

It is important to work with teachers to support your child at school. If a teacher knows your child is adopted, then they will better understand why things might be disturbing or difficult for your child. Teachers many also not be fully informed about adoption today, so working with them to understand better is important.


Let's Learn Together is a useful publication from Adoption UK Scotland as a starting point, as are the Adoption UK Scotland factsheets and the regular training courses on working with schools. You might find it useful to talk to the helpline.


Research about how children felt in school and what they experienced can be found in Bridging the Gap, Giving Adopted Children an Equal Chance in School 2018 (Adoption UK) can give you an insight into what school can feel like to an adopted child.


Home Education

-Home Education, or a mixture of school and home education (flexi schooling) might be the best option for your child. For further information about home education visit School House Home Education Association.



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This website was funded by the Scottish Government has been developed by Adoption UK in Scotland, Association for Fostering, Kinship and Adoption Scotland and Scotland’s Adoption Register